Behind the scene…

This will definitely be the most surreal post I’ll ever share. Pinching my arm, I don’t think that I’ll actually realize this until I leave the stage next Wednesday, during Oslo Innovation Week and Oslo Business Forum.

Exactly one year ago I was burned out flat, had social anxiety and panic attacks. I felt completely inadequate, useless and my self-confidence was non-existing… All I wanted to do was crawl into a dark hole and hide from the world. What a difference a year makes.. Not the year in itself; but a year of true friends offering support and openness, time in nature, my kids, silence, an amazing psychologist and her toolbox of mental exercises..🙏🏽

It’s when you hit the bottom that you see the true faces of people around you. Some are only there in fair winds and sunny weather. That can be pretty tough to realize when you feel completely skinless. But it’s a good and humbling lesson.

I’m forever grateful for those of you who were there for me in many different ways and forms. Who provided support, time and friendship through a really rough patch – instead of pulling the rug from under my feet.. Who shared your weaknesses and fears, so that I didn’t feel so alone in mine.

Sorry if this post come across a bit touchy-feely, but I don’t believe in just sharing the perfect facade – and the contrast of this date last year and this year feels so enormous. Somehow everything I went through last year was necessary, as it opened some new doors mentally as well as physically.

So I’m reflecting quite a bit over this, filled with an overwhelming gratitude for the genuine people that I’m so lucky to have in my life.

I really don’t take any of you for granted…

And if you don’t know me and read this, I hope that it can be a reminder that behind most of the people who appear strong and “successful” when you swipe through the feed, there’s usually also a lot of struggles, scars and hardship that we don’t talk about so much, and most often a lot of insecurities that we try to hide.

This one goes to all who dare to be open, also when things aren’t so good.. And to those who are in a struggle just now. Hang on, just breathe and keep hope.

Sharing is the best survival tool we’ve got❤️

Take care!

PS; The Oslo Innovation Week Code of Conduct works pretty well across life in general .. It’s so basic and called by many names – Ubuntu, the Golden Rule, etc.. #BeNice

Countdown: New Job Announcement (!)

I’m so excited!! Counting down towards starting an amazing new job, where I can use all of my passion for the ocean industries, tech, sustainability, entrepreneurs, diversity and continue mobilizing for change!

After a really tough 2017, I felt it was important with a fresh start. But it wasn’t an easy decision to leave Nor-Shipping. I felt extremely insecure on my own capabilities and perceived value with potential employers. But I also know that change is important for us as human beings, and especially that sometimes you have to let go and jump from the diving board, even though it feels scary and you don’t think you’re ready. And that’s when cool things happen!

Yet still, my self confidence was totally wrecked after hitting rock bottom. I was all too aware that I probably hadn’t been super strategic to both go public with #MeToo and being open about the fact that I was burnt out. A person told me directly that it was a really bad move career wise, and that she would never have advised me to blog about #MeToo..

But I have never made my decisions based on what might be strategic for me personally. Probably a bit naive, but I’ve always chosen to challenge, provoke and use my voice for things I believe in.

Initiating debates on key challenges and things that you think should and must change will never guarantee popularity. It will put you at risk some times. People will laugh at you, talk behind your back, try to stop you or in some cases even get angry. They will try to belittle you, especially when they don’t understand you. That has never stopped me, because those are the things worth working for, worth changing.

And I hope by God that I will never end up as one of those who primarily care about securing their position, earnings, power and title at all cost. Instead of focusing on how they can contribute towards change, common equality and keep their integrity…

But I know that business life can be tough on those who don’t try to fit in, and I know for sure that many leaders still keep old fashioned perceptions on mental health and what they perceive as “weaknesses”.

So I fully understood what I believe was meant as a genuine advice, in terms of putting my self at risk career wise by opening up on the whole burnout and MeToo shabang while I was still partially out of order..

After the press release on my departure from Nor-Shipping, I was both surprised and shocked to experience that so many of my former business partners and customers were interested in getting me onboard. That’s the ultimate compliment after having worked quite closely with several of them through a number of years.

As the release went public, I had actually decided what to do next, based on the alternatives I had on the table. But less than 3 hours later, I had received 3 new enquiries, and then a few more the following days.. Several were so exciting that I had to spend time exploring them before making the decision.

And finally, a few weeks postponed I’ve made it – and I’m so excited that I can hardly sit still..

Can’t wait to share the news after Easter… But a hint is that I will be able to contribute even better than ever before, using my voice and heart to work for something I truly believe in – and continue making a difference. Not to mention, get to work with a lot of the people & organizations that I’ve known for many years.

Happy Easter and egg hunting everyone!! Now I’m heading off to the Norwegian mountains with my two Easter bunnies🐣🐥🐇

#WomenWhoMoveTheWorld #WISTA #WomenInShipping

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